Marvellaland

Essays on memoir, music, and more from Beatrice M. Hogg

A New Holiday

  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThere is Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, and Valentine’s Day. I am neither a mother, father, grandparent nor sweetheart. There is Secretary’s Day and Boss’ Day. I am somewhere between those two positions. So where is my Holiday? Where are my presents and cards? I propose that a new holiday be added to the calendar, Single Woman’s Day.

Why Single Woman’s Day? Well, we unattached single women with no dependents deserve to be recognized just as much as any one else. It isn’t easy being an unattached single woman, no matter what the magazines and sitcoms may say. I say that we deserve a special day just for us.

This new day should be on a Saturday. Then people all over the world could treat their favorite Single Women to a great night out—dinner, a movie, dancing, the works. And they wouldn’t have to get up early to go to work the next morning (or at least a lot of us wouldn’t). Women that have to work on Saturdays should be given half of the day off, with pay.

This new day should also be in the summer, when it is warm and the days are long. August would be a good month, since not much is going on that month. Department stores could coincide the unveiling of the fall fashions with Single Woman Day sales. What would be better for a single woman than getting the hottest new shoes at a sale price? Instead of the traditional women’s gifts of candy, flowers and lingerie that are used for other holidays, the staples of Single Woman Day gift giving would be the things that women really want: shoes, designer handbags, and cash.

Single Woman’s Day should have some rules, though. It would be the one day of the year that we wouldn’t have anyone ask us, “Why isn’t a nice girl like you married yet?” or “Don’t you want children?” (Which means that no family reunions or class reunions could be held on this day.) It would be the one day of the year that no one said, “Shouldn’t you be watching your weight?” (Dessert would be mandatory on this day.)

It would be the one day of the year that all salespersons would be helpful and everything would be available in your size. Single Woman’s Day cards would all say, “We love you just the way that you are!”  There would be contests where people could nominate their favorite Single Woman for trips to exotic locations. All television networks, not just Lifetime, would feature programming that extolled the virtues of unattached Single Women. There would be marathon showings of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” and the few other shows that depict unattached single women as being interested in more than getting a man and starting a family.

So come on Hallmark, and all of you other card companies, get on the bandwagon! Lets designate a Saturday in August as Single Woman’s Day! Think of the additional card revenue! Come on Macy’s, Neiman’s, and Bloomie’s, think of all of the shoes that could be sold! Restaurateurs, forget about dating couples: single women are your new meal ticket!

And Single Sisters out there! Think about it! One day of the year when the world would be your oyster, and you could have all of the desserts and presents that you wanted, without having to become a year older, wear a ugly white dress, or spend 48 hours in labor. One day out of the year when you would be celebrated for being the rare, special creature that you are, not ridiculed or pitied because you don’t fit society’s definition of what women should be or should want. And then maybe the world would realize that we are not lonely or weird or workaholics or bitches, just people like everyone else. So let me be the first to say it—Happy Single Woman’s Day!

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